Let Them Dream

Posted by Healthful Elements Staff

Listening to lectures is a regular part of my coursework for the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy – and this week I was privileged to hear an eye-opening talk by Richard Boyatzis, a researcher and professor of organizational behavior at Case Western Reserve University. 

Boyatzis studies how people and organizations make sustainable, desired change and how coaches (or anyone in a leadership role, whether it’s parents, managers, doctors, or captains of cheerleading squads) can most effectively motivate the people who work with and for them.

During the lecture, I learned that the way most coaches are trying to help people live better, healthier lives – by giving tips, advice, explanations, and directives – is dead wrong.

People perceive directives as imperialism, says Boyatzis. On a subconscious level, they feel attacked – and that is not a source of motivation.

Even if the client doesn’t feel threatened, s/he may still not take your advice. Only about 25 percent of people thrive when they have a specific goal and a detailed action plan for achieving it, explains Boyatzis. The other 75 percent get bogged down and demotivated by the specifics.

(This is largely why Jill and I offer our clients unlimited email support. This will never not be a component of our clients’ programs. After doing this work for over 10 years, Jill is convinced that support beyond the coaching sessions is, in fact, why we do have so much success with our clients.)

That’s why programs like Weight Watchers tell participants not to weigh themselves everyday, says Boyatzis. The numbers distract most of the participants and suck all the air out of their motivation.

What’s more, a task-specific mindset (“I must do this, this, and this”) is mutually exclusive with the brain’s default network, or the open, expansive brain state we shift into when we’re left to think undisturbed.

When the brain is in default-network mode, we experience episodic memories, we reminisce, and we imagine the future.

But researchers are discovering that a lot of important things happen when our brains free float in this way. We’re not just wasting time. We’re processing life events, synthesizing memories, and piecing together past information to predict future events. In this state, we are open and receptive to new ideas about what the future can look like.

The takeaway for us as coaches?…

Have clients talk about their dreams. Encourage them to be specific and talk at length. Research suggests that spending 30 minutes talking about one’s dreams for oneself will open the default network three to five days later, says Boyatzis. And along with that comes all the positive rumination and daydreaming that lays the foundation for making sustainable, positive change.

So ask clients: If you could wave a magic wand and really get where you need to be in the next three to six months, what would that look like? And then really listen. Ask for details. Have them paint a bold and specific picture. Have them dream big!

As coaches, we are repositories of knowledge. We can talk about the benefits of fish oil or watercress for hours, but sometimes the best advice is to step back and let the client establish the destination – and then let her brain, with all its productive daydreaming, sort out the ways to get there.

So then what is our role? We’re at the ready when they have questions about their self-realized, fully energized quest to get healthier. “Would watercress help me reduce my risk of breast cancer?” they ask.

“Gosh,” you reply, “Funny you should mention that…” 

Posted by Healthful Elements Staff

Comments

It is funny that you mention that, it was long about the 10 year mark for my career as well that I realized my approach needed to change, put the accountability back in the hands of the client; what THEY really want and then for me to be a guiding light to show them the way / continue to light the path for them.

Thanks for your work Ladies.

Lee Ann

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